MLB Pick'Em 07/05

Guest here. I fell off the wagon and life spiraled out of control. The normal picker claims they're busy this morning, but I think it was actually a well-planned manipulation to get me off my opium mattress and back to writing. Well done. 

July Yesterday's (5th), 2017 Picks: 

Mets vs Nationals, pick Mets, POSTPONED
Blue Jays vs Yankees, pick Blue Jays, WON
Giants vs Tigers, pick Giants, WON
Angels vs Twins, pick Angels, WON
Marlins vs Cardinals, pick Cardinals, LOST 
Rays vs Cubs, pick Rays, LOST
Pirates vs Phillies, pick Pirates, WON 
White Sox vs Athletics, pick Athletics, WON 
Orioles vs Brewers, pick Brewers, WON
Royals vs Mariners, pick Mariners, LOST
Padres vs Indians, pick Indians, LOST
Astros vs Braves, pick Braves, LOST
Red Sox vs Rangers, pick Rangers, WON
Reds vs Rockies, pick Rockies, WON
Diamondbacks vs Dodgers, Dodgers, WON 

Yesterday's Record: 9-5
Hoopfest 2017: 0-30

Guest Picks: 17-11
Monthly Picks: 30-26
Yearly Picks: 672-575

July Today (6th), 2017 Picks: 

Giants (Stratton) vs Tigers (Sanchez)
Although a Tiger is a ferocious beast, I doubt it could do much more than flesh wound level damage against a Giant. 
Pick: Giants

Marlins (Koehler) vs Cardinals (Wacha)
Interesting "land v. sea" matchup featuring the incredible Marlin and the majestic Cardinal. I assume the Marlin had made arrangements to incorporate a breathing device before agreeing to the fight, so I won't factor that into the decision. Despite being able to dive-bomb the fish, I think all it will take is one good tail-slap from the Marlin to incapacitate the bird. 
Pick: Marlins

Brewers (Davies) vs Cubs (Montgomery)

Those lovable losers, the Cubs, are losers because of their addiction to alcohol. This is a sad matchup for them, their fans, and their sponsor. 
Pick: Brewers

Reds (Romano) vs Rockies (Chatwood)
Gotta love Raymond. Sal Romano is I assume, Ray Romano's son. Don't want to bet against what should be a hilarious comedic pitching performance. I expect at least one ball-to-the-nuts and perhaps some light commentary on the troubles of raising children. 
Pick: Reds

Pirates (Kuhl) vs Phillies (Hellickson)
When a bunch of pirates take on the nickname of the City of Philadelphia, all I can say is "watch out". Nobody likes Philadelphia, except when there is cream cheese involved. Luckily for fans of Philadelphia, an in-depth focus group realized that shortening the name to "Phillies" increased love for the city 500%, but only amongst brothers. Hence why the city is now called "the city of brotherly love". Who knew? 
Pick: Phillies

Braves (Foltynewicz) vs Nationals (Gonzalez)
I have a soft spot for last names ending in "wicz". 
Pick: Braves

Astros (McCullers Jr.) vs Blue Jays (Liriano)

Look at that man. Just take it in. That's the person who is expected to throw a baseball so well that the opposing team will be incapable of hitting it with a bat--even though he will be throwing it right to them! I could easily see him winning if he were allowed to throw the ball anywhere he pleased and the onus was on the batter to try and run the ball down to get a hit. Plus, look at that man! Just look at him. Again. And again. That's the same face he'd use to dunk a french fry in ketchup, let alone throw a ball 200mph, or however fast pitchers throw a baseball these days. No thanks. 
Pick: Astros

Red Sox (Sale) vs Rays (Faria)
If I know anything about baseball, it's that you never ignore a sale. I wonder what percent off the fans can expect to receive.
Pick: Red Sox

Padres (Lamet) vs Indians (Tomlin)
"Sorry daddy, I've been a naughty boy". Eesh, that does not roll off the ol' reading eyes well. Let me try that again. 

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned". Ah, yes. Much better. I may lament this decision, but I have faith in the lord above. 
Pick: Padres