MLB Pick'Em 05/20

 

Welcome naysayers and hobgoblins to MLB Pick'Em 2017! Our normal picker went camping and forgot to predict to the future, so I, the fearless daily introducer to this barely-above-.500 picks column, will be making the picks. If you didn't know, I am the full-time author of the NBA Pick'Em column, where I am currently 55-14 on the playoff year. Hopefully my luck continues here. And embarrasses the hell out of our normal picker. 

May Yesterday (19th), 2017 Picks: 

Brewers vs Cubs, pick Cubs, LOST
Blue Jays vs Orioles, pick Orioles, WON
Phillies vs Pirates, pick Phillies, WON
Rangers vs Tigers, pick Rangers, WON
Rockies vs Reds, pick Rockies, WON
Angels vs Mets, pick Mets, WON
Yankees vs Rays, pick Yankees, LOST
Nationals vs Braves, pick Nationals, LOST
Royals vs Twins, pick Twins, WON
Indians vs Astros, pick Astros, LOST
Giants vs Cardinals, pick Giants, WON
Red Sox vs Athletics, pick Red Sox, LOST
White Sox vs Mariners, pick White Sox, WON
Marlins vs Dodgers, pick Marlins, LOST
Diamondbacks vs Padres, pick Diamondbacks, WON 

Yesterday's Picks: 9-6
Monthly Picks: 135-115
Yearly Picks: 330-293


May Today (20th), 2017 Picks: 

Royals (Kennedy) vs Twins (Mejia)

My very first pick of the year, which I am hoping will lead to some sort of a hilarious asterisk in the bold record's above that permanently states "JD's Picks: 23-2" or something to that nature. In looking at this game, I've noticed two red flags for this game. The first is that Ian Kennedy is coming off the DL. Never trust a pitcher coming off the DL. The second is that the Royals relied heavily on the bullpen last night in a losing effort. Why would we expect Kennedy, DL-man, to last long into this game? The bullpen will be trotted out again and blasted.
Pick: Twins

Brewers (Anderson) vs Cubs (Arrieta)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Poor Arrieta. In his defense, he has played 6 of his 8 started game on the road. He's only had two starts where people were happy he was playing! How does a man build up his confidence like that? Put yourself in his shoes. It's nearly June and he's played 75% of his starts away from the loving cheers of his fans. He'll revel in the game, if it's played, and use the support of his loved ones.
Pick: Cubs

Red Sox (Pomeranz) vs Athletics (Manaea)

Wow, I own Pomeranz in my league and I am not happy with how he's playing. Not to mention his damn triceps. He only lasted 3 innings last time he pitched. Christ on a stick which has another smaller perpendicular stick! Meanwhile, Manaea is removed from the first-start-after-DL curse. Not too mention he retired his final 10 batters he faced in that game. Clearly, one can make a case he got into a groove. 
Pick: Athletics

Phillies (Velasquez) vs Pirates (Nova)

I'd appreciate analyzing this more. If the Phillies win I'll feel like a goofball not taking a second look at it. Ok, I looked a second time. Valesquez actually pitches better away from home. Interesting. And his last start at the Nationals wasn't the worst. Only allowed 2 ER. The only problem is he doesn't go deep into games. However, the Phillies bullpen is well rested, they haven't been used much at all the last 3 games. So Velasquez's ability to go deep may only matter to his girlfriend. However, Nova has been crushing it at home. Just ask his girlfriend. 
Pick: Pirates

Indians (Clevenger) vs Astros (Fiers)

Oh boy. You're really not gonna like this Cleveland fans. The Astros are really good. And they didn't use Devenski last night. Good luck overcoming those two facts. You're fucking toast. You're not even toast. You're shit that used to be toast. 
Pick: Astros

Rockies (Senzatela) vs Reds (Adleman)

Let me tell you about a guy who has been sensational. That guy is Senzatela. Now let me tell you about a guy whose name rhymes with ex-NBA head coach Rick Adelman. That guy is Adleman. Truly a tale of two cities. Senzy hasn't done well against potent offenses yet, so I don't expect him to struggle today.
Pick: Rockies

Yankees (Tanaka) vs Rays (Andriese)

This guy Tanaka, he hasn't been doing so hot lately. However, let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, the moon up above, and thing called love. 
Pick:
Wait, what the hell. My pick for this game turned into a Dean Martin song!? And why am I still in caps? All right, not back to the analysis. Tanaka has been garbage. He's been worse than garbage. He's been shit that used to be garbage. But he's played better away than home. Except when he's at Tropicana field, where he sports a slightly-higher-than-average 23.63 era. Oh god, the humanity. 
Pick: Rays

Nationals (Scherzer) vs Braves (Colon)

Let me throw some numbers at you. 

Pitcher 1: Age 43, ERA 6.80, SO 27
Pitcher 2: Age 32, ERA 2.80, SO 70

Obviously, we all would pick pitcher 2, but between Colon and Scherzer, you'd never guess who pitcher was, it was Maxwell James Scherzer! Colon was pitcher 1! 
Pick: Nationals

Rangers (Griffin) vs Tigers (Verlander)

When you're a professional temporary baseball analyst, you take match-ups like today and you write the following letters on a piece of paper or perhaps if you're tech-savvy you type them on a computer or maybe you're wearing a fedora and own a pencil-styled mustache, then you might be using a typewriter while complimenting the barista on the delicious cappuccino you're enjoying. Hmmm... get me the name of that barista, I want a cappucino! But leave the fedora, you hipster-bastard. Griffin is a bad pitcher against the Tigers, going 1-2 with a 8.53 era. Meanwhile, Verlander is a good pitcher against the Rangers, plus he has had sex more than once with a supermodel. And that, friends, is the only stat that counts. 
Pick: Tigers

Angels (Meyer) vs Mets (Wheeler)

Alex Meyer is a fraud. He may make you think he is an up and coming pitcher who sports a 2.70 era. What he doesn't tell you is he only performs like that in the comfy confines of his home ballpark. When he is forced to pitch away from manicured luxury, his flashy ERA drops to 8.68. Don't be bought by lies, support Zach Wheeler for president. 
Pick: Mets

Giants (Zamardija) vs Cardinals (Martinez)

To quote a carpenter's song, "the best is yet to come". Carlos Martinez grew up rich in Beverly Hills. When you grow up with so much, sometimes it's hard to be a good pitcher in April. Then he lost everything to the seedy workings of a trusted family financial adviser, Beverly Hills mansion? Gone. Family jewels? Sunk. His talented right arm? Deflated. So Martinez set out on an expedition to discover the lost city of El Dorado. He not only found the city, restoring his family's fortune, but along the way learned how to pitch again. Now he rocks and will have no problem paying his electricity bill after scorching these asshole, silicon valley punks. 
Pick: Cardinals

Blue Jays (Bolsinger) vs Orioles (Gausman)

Oh my god. My eyes. They burn. Why do bad games happen to good fans? Gausman was supposed to be something this year. He started the opening day. He coulda been sumtin! Then you have Bolsinger. Last time out he hit three batters. Not retaliation Just idiocy. God damn it. Both of these teams have great offenses too. I'd flip a coin, but I don't want to embarrass it. Ok... digging deep. Bolsinger's splits... shit. Pure, unadulterated shit. Ok.. Gausman's splits... pretty bad at home, pure unadulterated shit on the road. Guess that means I'll take pretty bad. Enjoy this game, fans!
Pick: Orioles