NBA Pick'Em 04/15: NBA Playoffs

 

Thanks for making it out to NBA Pick'Em 2017 Playoffs. The 1st round starts today, 8 teams begin their series battle to make it to the semi-finals. Miraculously, every team that secured a post-season birth can be considered a winner--no playoff team finished below .500. It truly is a fucking miracle. 

Let's get to it. 

April Today (15th), 2017 Picks:

Indiana Pacers @ Cleveland Cavaliers

Indiana started out the year with a win against a Cavs team without Lebron. What happened during the other 3 games they played? Cleveland win. Cleveland win. And Cleveland win. In those victories, Lebron scored 25, 31, and then 41 points. The last time the two teams played was earlier this month in a double-overtime grinder. The Pacers will be able to hang with them and I wouldn't be surprised if they earn a true victory in this series. I just can't see the Pacers taking the series to 6 games, therefore the classic "Lebron purposely losing the 1st game of a series" trope will not be played out.
Pick: Cavaliers

Milwaukee Bucks @ Toronto Raptors

These Bucks have lost badly when they play in Canada. Hey Milwaukee, your youth is showing! Haha, classic Buck thing to do, be young.  The Raptors, meanwhile, have plenty of playoff experience. They have Serge! I think the Bucks will get both home wins in this series. They have a hell of a fan-base. But there's no way they will come out of Toronto with a win. 
Pick: Raptors

Memphis Grizzlies @ San Antonio Spurs

I was really looking forward to this series. A lot. Memphis is one of my favorite teams. They're grinders. They're teenagers hooking up over-the-clothes. But that's it, they're just the dry-humpers of the NBA. You look back fondly on their teams, just as you do now, dreaming back to high school, adjusting yourself properly to get your penis on the right track. Going to town, feeling some success, but then seeing your girl go off with an older guy with more experience. Haha. Seriously, though, Tony Allen is out and they have no one to stop Kwahi. Sure, the tandem of Marc and Zach will do whatever they please against Ladorkus Aldridge and Pau, but other than that, this will be a decently-sized stain on the denim of the grizzlies season. 
Pick: Spurs

Utah Jazz @ Los Angeles Clippers

This is the series the NBA deserves, but not the one it needs right now. It needed the fucking Jazz to have home-court. I still rub my prayer beads and think of the Jazz. I still have legit hope that the Jazz can rip the hearts out of the Clippers and cause a summer shake-up. A summer Clipper shake-up. That'd be amazing. Between the possibility of that and Melo getting traded, perhaps to the Clippers, I can't wait for this stupid Championship pursuit to end. I'm itching toward the Clippers taking the series, but I like the Jazz coming into the Staples Center tonight with something to prove. They'll make the Clippers question what sort of god would do such horrible things to such good people. 
Pick: Jazz